8 Months ago my life was turned upside down.

I go for my 5th Chemo tomorrow, with three left if working in this series. I really have  no new news until middle of August.

 Just some of my thoughts...

I am becoming very tired again, which I need to recover from all of the poison they pump into to me. It could also be the pill for the tremors which slows down your blood pressure or the other mix of pills....etc.

I often think of the past 8 months filled with, needles weekly for drawing blood, and administering IVs needles, many many Dr,s appointments, Hospital  visits, MRI,s, CT scans, Bone scans, Pet scans.  All of these come with different side effects I have to deal with. I often say I never had any idea how, one day you hear that diagnosis and your life will never be the same. Its is hard unless you are in those shoes. I always looked forward great summers with friends and family and music, simple things  like grocery shopping, cooking, not to mention every time I walk by a mirror I am shocked on what I see is not what I have been used to for the last 50 or so years. There is also the constant thought of the unknown. Its very hard to watch and think about the people going about their life's week after week while I am here, sitting still, its like everyone is in fast motion going around me as the days pass me by. I want to get back in the race!!!

THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE, SUPPORT, AND PRAYERS.

4th Treatment

4th Treatment of latest Chemo Docetaxel

Praying this is the insecticide I need to kill the bug!!! I had another allergic reaction, small one, fixed with benadril and a shot of my inhaler. I seem to have a lot more energy with this one.

The reason I have not blogged more is the hand tremors make it very hard to use the keyboard. I am hoping this will not last long. My Father (most wonderful man and Father ever, wish I could have some big Dad hugs ) had tremors, and I never realized how hard it was to the everyday things, it is nerve related, hopefully all this has not triggerd something that was in my future. I started on two pills a day (more pills) if it will help I will know is about two weeks, if not I will see a Neurologist next, (another dr. yeah!). I was able to go to work for a few hours on Monday! What a joy, I really miss it! Topiaries was a dream 19 years ago and it has brought so much pleasure and creativity, and the best people into my life

I think the radiation is starting to work, because the tiny nubs of hair left on my head are falling out and my eyebrows and eyelashes too.  Radiation is accumulative. Praying that is working on my brain, since chemo does not work on the brain.

Love, hope and prayers


Experiencing genuine joy and contentment when life is difficult is only possible when you lean on God's strengh instead of our own.

July 4th weekend

Fourth of July 2012

Unlike other 4th weekends where we spent with family and friends in NY... boating, cookouts. and having a blast. I was not able to go, since I can't be in the sun or heat during treatment. Silver lining My family came to me, amazing family, my two brothers and wives,  my nephew Keith and his wife brought their new born twin girls for me to meet, about 6 weeks old, adorable!!! No one has had a girl in our family since me 54 years ago, everyone had boys, needed some girls!! 

On to the treatment yesterday, about half way through the chemo drip, I started coughing and having a hard time breathing. the nurses came over and I had broken out in hives, face chest everywhere. I thought oh great another chemo I can't use. They unhooked me and put another benedril (sp) drip on, and later re hooked the chemo on a slower speed, which added another 2hrs to my time. I was there for 4 hrs. long day. I do feel good today, much more energy. pedizone. I have one new problem coning from where, we are not from what yet, but my hands have tremors. very hard to write type, brush teeth, holding drinks getting food to mouth, putting on lipstick impossible effects about everything I do. I have been on pred. many times and I usually only shake a bit, not tremors.  My next treatment is Wednesday!

Love to all, I am sure your prayers are working, nothing is easy.