This is where I am at this point.
I am up to be picked for a clinical trial, which entails being examined all over again.
More blood taken today, an EKG, another CT scan, another MRI all before Monday. I should know if I was chosen by Tuesday. The trial are four pills I take along with the new chemo drug. The pill would be an added bonus to the chemo with not many side effects. My treatments will be 21 days apart again because this one will really hit my blood count low, so I need time to recover and bring my counts back to be treated again. We are trying to just stop the growth and movement of the BUG, and then on to the next step. I will know in about two months if this is working. By this time the testing from my biopsy will give us more insight to help fight (and beat the crap out of) the BUG, because I am starting to get pissed!
I have to say there are so many layers to this that it's hard to see it all coming at you in the beginning. The many, many tests, x-rays, scans, blood draws, surgeries, scopes, the insurance,(that blows through your money faster than you can imagine, everyday a bill in the mail, insurance covering less, and out of pocket more... Really!)
etc. never mind pain, coughing, and being tired from not enough oxygen.
I am not complaining, but must give a full picture, since remember I am at the begining of this battle. Two good things, I can run my store from a far with the help of my awesome manager Maureen! I don't know what people do about work, since I have already been in this for 7 months. The other thing that helps me get through it all, is some people have to watch their small kids and young adults go thru this and much more, and the tons of elderly people that are there week after week. So for that I can fight this as long as I don't have to watch my Mother (88) or my son go thru this week after week.
Again thanks for the prayers cards and love, I am absorbing it all.
With all of you and the Lord by my side we will see miracles happen!!
GOD BLESS and HAPPY EASTER
Gail, thank you for your willingness to share the brutal truth of what you are experiencing. It puts the mundane complaints of life into perspective and makes one realize what is important. At this point, prayer becomes very specific: your comfort; biopsy findings; treatment success; family; friends; your continued determinedness; financial; spiritual. Thankfully you have place your trust and hope in the Lord ... may He increase your courage and and bring you peace. May you feel His presence. Empty words to many who do not turn to Him, but meaningful to those who know Him. You have been blessed with a grateful, generous heart. Please continue to express your feelings, even if it is frustration and anger (even at God)... those are real feelings. Not only are you allowing us to pray, but you are teaching us as we all will eventually face tremendous trial.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I had some extra help from my guardian angels just today. Love and hope, and faith. Gail
DeleteHey Gail, I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and praying for you! I still think you are doing awesome and am so proud to be your friend. You will Squish the Bug! Love you and Happy Easter! When are we doing lunch again? :)
ReplyDeleteI know you are set with nicknames, but when I underwent radiation one of my co-workers called me her little glow-worm. so I'm hoping my new dear glow-worm is doing well. You are surrounded with love and prayers which is the main reason you glow. Love you more than I can say....will see you soon. Weedie
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