New Chapter

As you all know, I was looking forward to testing a new clinical trial to use with the new chemo drug to start tomorrow. Well, I knew something was up, because they moved my doctor apptointment to today along with some other clues.  When I was in the examination room with my Mom, my Doctor came in and I said, "It's not good, is it?"   He said, "You did not qualify for the trial due to the cancer has moved into your brain."  I said it sure would be nice to have some good news once in a while and he said he would love to give me some.  I will start radiation tomorrow, everyday for 2 weeks.  Then another MRI to see if that was enough.  Adding chemo with the radiation will be decided soon. 


I went shopping at Sam's club, made a couple calls while I was shopping to buffer any tears in front of people.  Then I went home and cried for a bit.  I hate to cry since I get a headache afterwards and mucus build-up, which I have been trying to get rid of all the way through this. Then it was time to get back up on the horse and take control again.  Just think,  if I had not gotten so upset about the mistake the surgeon's appointment person had made, I would not have had my surgery yet!!!!  The radiologist nurse called today to schedule an appointment for tomorrow, but said she would have to call my family doctor for a referral.  I told her I would call as I am very close with my doctor and I know his nurses.  Again, my family doctor was not in today, so I talked to his nurse and said I need a fax sent STAT.  And it was done.  My best advice is get close to all of your doctors and nurses, know their names, they will be more involved with you and all that's ever changing in your medical journey.

My thoughts on today....

Even though it is hard for me to wrap my head around it (my life has totally changed in every way and will never be the same) I really do believe I have always had strong guardian angels that move things to happen.  Just think, the bug was not found after it took two doctors and three x-rays.  Then the pulmonary doctor found it and started testing and that lasted a month of "could be"... "maybe"... etc.  Anyway, my point is, I appear so healthy and I have no other signs.  My oncologist said today no one would even test for it.  I thought, I could have been a walking time bomb.  With that said, I feel maybe the clinical trial was not going to work for me anyway, but it did cause me to get an MRI (again guided to by guardian angels) which brings me to...  OK they found it early, lets kill it.  Besides, I am in Gods hands, he wants me to be healthy to get back to my happy and good life.  I must fight this with courage and strength and encourage those who have it a lot worse. 

Again I cannot thank everyone enough for the love and prayers.
It is helping me so much. xoxo